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Speaking of Dying grew out of founder Trudy James’s experiences witnessing the end of life as a chaplain for AIDS patients. She discovered the power of sharing stories, and she created workshops to help people prepare for their own deaths while minimizing stress on their families. Trudy’s compassionate mission gained momentum, and soon more facilitators began conducting workshops across the country. With the release of her film, thousands more have been inspired to join the community.

And that’s what Speaking of Dying is—a community. This is a place where it’s safe to discuss a topic that many find uncomfortable. Here, you can discover workshops conducted by trained facilitators, find or request screenings of the film, and explore resources from other helpful agencies.

Speaking of Dying Collective

A group, and a short film, dedicated to the idea that we can all have a better death.

Why speaking of dying is needed: Too many people in our state and country, especially seniors, are dying in ways they would never have chosen for themselves. Fear of the unknown and fear of discussing a taboo subject has created a culture where many families cannot, or will not, talk openly about death ahead of time. Without these prior conversations, prolonged, medically challenged, “futile care” endings can be hard to avoid. The default tendency of our current health care system is maximum longevity with maximum treatment— without regard for the damage to one’s quality of life, the stress/hardships imposed on families and survivors, and the high financial cost of care that is futile at best, and often unwanted.

Heartwork Production’s 30-minute documentary film, Speaking of Dying, is part of the shift in consciousness that is emerging in this country. The film introduces a variety of individuals who model the value of learning about resources and choices, and who illustrate the benefits of talking openly about end of life. It shines a bright light on this often-taboo subject, offering a gentle way to begin important discussions.

The film had its premiere screening at the Frye Art Museum on April 19, 2015—National Health Care Decisions Day. Since then, there have been 345 public screenings in five states for over 5700 people. Screenings have taken place in a variety of senior housing residences, senior centers, churches, synagogues, sanctuaries, and other religious organizations, yoga studios, workplaces, libraries and St Paul Zen Center and university classrooms, in addition to many private screenings in homes, at hospital beds, and in support groups. Testimonial stories attest to positive results for individuals and for families.

Despite COVID and war, we are still living in a death-denying culture that seemingly cannot face the reality that we are all going to die. The result of this collective denial is suffering that is needlessly, and expensively, prolonged for countless people who could enjoy peaceful and meaningful endings if they were aware of the resources available to them. This film, and the conversations it initiates, can be a useful tool. It has helped many, especially seniors, prepare to die better deaths.

“Peaceful death is really an essential human right, more essential perhaps even than the right to vote or the right to justice…..There is no greater gift of charity you can give than helping a person to die well.”

Soygal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying